Jun 082012
 

Wednesday I had an opportunity to visit with a dear friend from high school.  I had always respected and liked this friend, you know who you are. As we talked I found that the perception I had of her high school years were very different from hers, and vice versa.  I thought she was popular and without problems, and she thought the same of me.  Unfortunately, not the truth.  We both had been bullied in high school by the same group of people.  Now we were not beaten up , but life was not pleasant.  We were always the butt of someones joke, treated like we were the dirt wiped of someones shoe, and either ignored or played practical jokes on. And you know who you are, or maybe not.  You see, as young adolescents we are so vulnerable to our peers because we want acceptance and love.  We don’t understand why we are being treated this way and I wonder if our attackers realize the scars they leave.  Oh the scars are there and they are called insecure, low self-esteem, and for some depression.  So I wonder, if we knew how our actions affected others, would we change them… as we get older do we continue to treat adults like we treated our adolescent friends?  I certainly hope we can grow up.

As we talked we both seemed to have the same feelings regarding these people, forgiveness.  Yet we are continued to be treated by them in the same manner in most cases.

I have recently been gathering some friends from high school for monthly breakfasts, we call it the divine order of the ya,ya betcha breakfast club.  It is so  fun to get together with these women who have indeed grown up. The group is non exclusive, everyone is welcome.  We talk about out lives and families, we do not focus on ( I’m not giving away my age)  a few years back…a lot of years back 🙂   After all, those days are behind us.  If we keep looking backwards we are bound to miss some awesome things in front of us.  So as graduation is upon us for many of our children, I hope you will share this little piece of advice.

Don’t assume that the person sitting next to you has a golden life, cut them some slack and give them compassion.  You only see what people want you to see and that will never include their insecurities.  If you think you have hurt someone, go to them and ask their forgiveness, I think you will be glad you did.  If you are holding anger or bitterness toward someone, let it go.  It only hurts you and will grow like a cancer in you and tear you apart.  And last but not least, use the golden rule in your life, “Do onto others as you would want them to do unto you.”  My Dad always said… You need to be more like thumper, when Bambi called the skunk flower everyone laughed.  So thumper said. ” If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!”  This is something I will never forget.

And finally, if there is anyone who is reading this and I have done an injustice to, please forgive my ignorance.  I’ve been there and shame on me!  I always try to have Jesus mentality, he came to Love and Forgive, and that is what we are called to as well.  Regardless of your beliefs in spirituality, it is a good way to live.  Have a wonderful weekend.  Blessings

  6 Responses to “Not always as it seems….”

  1.  

    You are so insightful!

    •  

      Gail, I am glad you liked this post, i just tell it how I see it. We’ve all been there, it just is such a waste of energy being angry. I tend to want to utilize my energy looking for good things…. thats why you are my dear dear friend…and I meant to write dear x2 . Love you Gail!

  2.  

    Kelly,

    Well said! I truly feel that the one being the bully is the one who has insercurities. One says and does things to make them look like there better than everyone and really,,,,,there no better than the person they are making the brunt of there jokes. They need to look in the mirror.

  3.  

    Thanks Kelly for posting this. As well as you and others I was teased as an adolescent terribly. My clothes and shoes weren’t good enough, neither was I! I remember being scared and depressed. My mom and dad did their best to give us a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. I was lucky to have the things i had. I wasn’t arrogant or spoiled just a regular good kid brought up with good morals thanks to my parents. When i had my own children i vowed i would protect them from other children and teach them right from wrong and they have grown up to be two beautiful children because of it. I’m very proud. Just to end, i still see some of those same bully’s to this day and they won’t even wave or say hi. Well, that’s okay i wouldn’t want them as my friend anyway! Hope to see you and the other ladies soon. Thanks for the pist;-)

    •  

      I’ve had the same thing happen to me when I see people from the past. I myself have seen people from high school and not waved or said hi, I guess I was waiting for them to. I thought maybe they didn’t recognize me, I like to give the benefit of the doubt. But then I thought that I could have said something, maybe they feel the same way I do. So now I say hi, leave my insecurities behind, and take the chance. The worst that could happen is the individual won’t respond, in which case I know their character and shouldn’t care anyway. Its only been very recently that I have been able to come out of that beaten down mentality when it comes to the high school group, I just decided that they have ( and had) no control over me. I always told my kids, “don’t let other peoples actions or words affect the way you respond. Your response should always be one of respect and love. I’m not perfect, I will let you down, not because I want to but because I am human. We are each only human and can’t expect perfection.”
      I want to thank you for your comment, and your willingness to post on such an important topic. Love you girls!

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